PSA: Bro-truck Vs. Off Road Truck

"CAR_IS_MI" (car-is-mi) 11/18/2013 at 18:35 • Filed to: None

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I see a lot of hate (much deserved) for bro-trucks on this website. This is all fine and dandy, and I believe we can all agree that bro-truck must die like donks and Snookie (the mutant offspring of jabba the hutt and an oompa loompa). I also see a lot of misplaced hate for built vehicles being called bro-trucks.

So lets settle the score. Where does a bro-truck end and a true, built, off-road vehicle begin? The pavement (or rather lack there of).

Lets start with Bro-trucks : The term bro-truck is used to describe a bro who wants to look like a bad ass in his big lifted truck. He has big, usually chrome (not to be confused with polished) wheels. These wheels are usually accompanied by a mud tire between 35" and 37" in diameter. These same mud tires will never actually see mud. Or dirt, dust, water (other than the occasional small puddle), or any other substance other than tire shine. In fact, a bro truck is easily spotted by the inch thick coating of tire shine.

Bro trucks are always lifted to an absurd amount. Bros can be heard proclaiming statements like "Bro guy yo, I just bumped up the lift to 10" yo, and I be compin some 6" body lift next week! gone be tight". A lift of that size would be pointless off road as a slight wind or the breeze created by a passing sparrow may cause the truck to tip as it is now very top heavy.

Finally, a bro-truck can always be spotted by its meticulous detailing. an off road truck can get washed, but you will never, ever, get all the dirt and mud off from the underside. If the frame is clean (this is easy to spot, see above paragraph) its a bro truck.

Off Road Vehicles , however, are a much different story. While the two may share some commonalities, a true off road vehicle has a few major tell-alls.

To start, true off road vehicles are proud to show off their dirt. While they may sometimes be cleaned, the dirt hides the bumps, bruises, and scars much better.

Where bro-trucks have large, flashy wheels, off road trucks will have smaller wheels (15" -17") and none of the flashy crap. They may share tire sizes (35" - 37"), but the tires will almost always show signs of true use.

Lifts on an off road vehicle are usually consistent of small bumps in height (3-6" overall), to provide better ground clearance and/or axle articulation.

Finally, where in a bro truck, a bro can be found, in a true off-road vehicle, a person, who can have a real conversation can be found.

I hope this clears things up for future reference.

offroadkarter > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 18:38

3

poverty bro truck

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 18:39

2

But I only have a 2 inch lift with 32's, I don't have an off road truck? I haz sad...

Milky > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 18:39

0

Yupp, completely agree.

Scurvy > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 18:41

5

No front driveshaft??

CAR_IS_MI > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/18/2013 at 18:42

3

Still more capable than ANY bro-truck. Have an un-sad...

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 18:42

2

Do you have this?

Bro truck

offroadkarter > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 18:42

1

I haven't had my bronco off road in 2 years, and I don't know if I ever will again. (I don't need the rust getting any worse, and it is)

but the headlights and turn signals still have mud inside them from when I hit a mud hole doing 30mph and water splashed over my windshield. That'll stay inside, so if anyone ever accuses me of having a brodozer (4" lift an 35's does not make a brodozer), I can point to that and tell them politely to go fornicate themselves

@ 2:46, the green explorer that gets stuck right after me is my brother. To this day he blames me for putting a rut in the hole that caused him to get stuck lol

Scurvy > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/18/2013 at 18:42

1

You'd be surprised how far one can get with something so small.

If I ever build another off road rig, first step will be lockers - screw lift kits.

CAR_IS_MI > Scurvy 11/18/2013 at 18:43

3

= Bro Truck. It will never see the dirt anyways.

nippon > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 18:44

1

I'm not living in the US of A. And i think all trucks in every form should be burned.
There should be only one, Toyota Hilux, for hauling racecars and shit in your trailer.

Off road vehicles are awesome in any form, and they should not be mixed up with those ugly, slow, fuel black holes with crappy diesels on way too big wheels that can't even steer.

/rant

offroadkarter > Scurvy 11/18/2013 at 18:45

4

the driveshaft angle was probably so fucked, they had to take it out

CAR_IS_MI > nippon 11/18/2013 at 18:47

2

Those big diesels serve a purpose... If you're towing lots of weight, like a big boat, a two car race hauler, or a tractor. But not lifted. no purpose. A 7000# truck with another 1000# of "off road" crap is good for getting stuck in...

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Scurvy 11/18/2013 at 18:48

1

Actually I take my truck rock climbing at Rausche Creek PA, I have center locking diff, diff guards, skid plates and brush bars front and back. There is not much my truck can't do. The only thing stopping me from doing more than Black trails is the fact I don't have sliders yet and I don't feel like bending my door sills.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/18/2013 at 18:48

1

That's bad, and you should feel bad.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 11/18/2013 at 18:49

1

You shut up! It's not the size that counts it's how you use it...

FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 > offroadkarter 11/18/2013 at 18:49

0

Pine Barrens?

davedave1111 > nippon 11/18/2013 at 18:51

3

Not all trucks, please? Can we have an exception for any that are mid-engined RWD with perfect 50:50 weight distribution?

offroadkarter > FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 11/18/2013 at 18:52

2

bingo!

otherwise known as "pretty much Alabama"

Scurvy > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/18/2013 at 18:52

1

Chicks dig body damage!!

Scurvy > davedave1111 11/18/2013 at 18:54

0

Love the Kei trucks, especially the Suzukis, some of which are 4wd.. Now that I wanna wheel..

CAR_IS_MI > offroadkarter 11/18/2013 at 18:57

5

Spent more on the lambo doors than he did on the actual truck.

Birddog > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 18:59

1

You forgot "battle scars".
There's a reason I haven't fixed the fender, hood and bumper on my truck. As soon as I pretty it up, it's likely to get whacked again.
Bros don't roll with body damage.

offroadkarter > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 19:00

0

I can tell you first hand from having a 98 jimmy, those things are pieces of shit. The trans was rebuilt at 60k miles, and the front diff was on its way out around 110k.

Birddog > Scurvy 11/18/2013 at 19:01

1

And those are the only chicks worth talking to.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Scurvy 11/18/2013 at 19:05

0

Oh my truck has body damage, just the kind of damage you get when squeezing between trees/rocks. Door sills are a little too much for me though, I want my truck to seal when I go wading. it's way more comfortable than having the truck flooded by sub zero temp water.

CAR_IS_MI > offroadkarter 11/18/2013 at 19:07

0

So basically if he took it any further than that dirt parking lot it would fall into pieces?

Übel > nippon 11/18/2013 at 19:22

5

And they say people inside the U.S. are close-minded. Big trucks aren't for off-roading, they're workhorses. The Hilux has a 5,500lb towing capacity at *best*. There are unladen trailers that weigh more than that over here. Hell, even my Dad's Frontier (which we use regularly for towing) can pull more than that. Plus, anyone who carries large amounts of building materials or similar with any frequency can attest to how much that sucks with anything but a large truck.

offroadkarter > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 19:26

0

well either his transmission would give out or he'd roll over because the early second gen S10 jimmys were prone to flipping due to an overly tight turning radius.

We leased a 94 before we got the 98, and by 98 they had severely limited the turning radius to prevent people from flipping over. My marauder could out turn my moms 98 jimmy, and I think my car was a foot and a half longer

cody > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 19:36

0

I might be bro.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > offroadkarter 11/18/2013 at 19:37

0

Where do you normally run? I normally run around Wharton state Forrest.

offroadkarter > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/18/2013 at 19:41

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I've been to wharton and to rausch creek out in PA. Wharton is nice because its free, but I like Rausch more because the trails are more difficult.

Busslayer > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 19:44

3

Another way to ID a poseur - Super Swamped Thornbirds. They look over-the-top, but they are not particularly good off road or on.

CAR_IS_MI > cody 11/18/2013 at 19:46

0

ughhh... Getting the pitchfork.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > offroadkarter 11/18/2013 at 19:54

1

Was at Rausch this weekend, had a blast and added another small memory to my door. We go up every year for an event called "Rovers on the Rocks".

KB Garage > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 11/18/2013 at 20:00

2

This looks frighteningly cheap.

offroadkarter > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/18/2013 at 20:12

0

I managed this one at rausch on one trip, to date this has been my worst damage and it was my fault out of pure stupidity.

We were going thru a mud hole that was deep in the ground, with a sharp uphill exit that was probably 6-7ft tall. I got talked into doing this somehow, and I wasn't the first. Since I wasn't the first, I didn't expect to hit a submerged log which bent my bumper into my rear quarter panel. My bumper is still bent up 2 years later, and it hits my tailgate.

my brother also got stuck and had to crawl out the drivers window and get out to hook a tow strap up. His friend had to jump over the center console and drive the truck out for him with a XJ doing the recovery

this was the end of the day. By far the most irreversible damage I've done yet.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > offroadkarter 11/18/2013 at 20:31

0

I'll post some pics of our carnage when I get home. This year one guy destroyed his front differential (the organizer's always bring spare parts because some always breaks something), my diff guards are beat to shit from Rausch.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/18/2013 at 21:05

1

Unless you can't...

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 11/18/2013 at 21:08

0

.... DAMMM YOU!

XJDano > Scurvy 11/18/2013 at 22:31

0

i remove my front driveshaft when street driving. bad vibes on highway.

TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma > Birddog 11/18/2013 at 23:24

0

This is a grey area.

I knew this pavement pounder back home who intentionally kicked and threw shit at his truck so it'd look worn.

On the flip side,I ran into a tree on the trail, but I got it fixed cause my tires were rubbing on the inner fender. Most of the body damage is gone as a result.

TheOnelectronic > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 23:36

0

Or you need to take your family and your house off-road.

TheOnelectronic > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 23:37

6

Off Road Truck: Built for the people inside the truck

Bro Truck: Built for the people outside the truck

BrownMiataDieselWagon > CAR_IS_MI 11/18/2013 at 23:53

0

Also, different types of lifts.
Bro trucks almost always have body lifts, whereas actual off road trucks will have suspension lifts (and body lifts depending on tire size)

XJDano > Scurvy 11/19/2013 at 02:09

0

xx45xx > CAR_IS_MI 11/19/2013 at 12:17

1

here are my trucks. am i mr cool guy off road vehicle or am i bro truck? :( be kind to me.

CAR_IS_MI > xx45xx 11/19/2013 at 12:28

2

Bro bro bro bro bro.

Jk. Stock 250/350 (at least lift wise) no bro, but those wheels gotta go.

Is that an 82'? and it looks kinda dirty so no bro there (unless you've got terrible wheels on that too...)

xx45xx > CAR_IS_MI 11/19/2013 at 12:30

0

its an 84 got 16" steelies with 39" tires

on the other one it is 20s on 35" tires. very bro rims. rides as rough as the old truck because no sidewall. but it is an fx4.

CAR_IS_MI > xx45xx 11/19/2013 at 12:47

1

I too had an FX4, factory 18" though, but was definitely not the smoothest ride available, but thats okay because truck.

xx45xx > CAR_IS_MI 11/19/2013 at 13:09

0

trucks make me happy:)

Scurvy > XJDano 11/19/2013 at 20:28

0

Something wrong with your build.

Prob need the pinion angle changed or something, can't unlock the hubs?

FadedGlory > CAR_IS_MI 11/23/2013 at 17:11

0

Nerd Talk: An IHS study of 2002 model-year vehicles ranked the 2-door Blazer/Jimmy as the #1 vehicle most likely for an accident to be a fatal accident. The 4-door wasn't far behind. Bro-ing it up helps your chances of winning the Darwin Award, at least.

(As an aside, the report also found that in general, the heavier the vehicle, the higher likelihood of its occupants surviving a crash.)

Burner > CAR_IS_MI 11/23/2013 at 17:37

0

I present the most perfect example of a Bro Truck I have ever seen.

I would be curious to feel the swaying effects while riding around a parking lot though. I bet it moves several feet side to side during a turn.

terrencel > Burner 11/23/2013 at 18:52

0

Also anything to do with "ballerz"

MtrRider Just Wants Doritos > nippon 11/23/2013 at 19:32

1

Well you are a massively ignorant person and most likely a troll.

MtrRider Just Wants Doritos > CAR_IS_MI 11/23/2013 at 19:37

0

Signs of a Brotruck include Skyjacker lifts, diesel stacks, chrome trim pieces that aren't factory, Rockstar wheels, body lifts, fake roll bars (usually chrome), ridiculously oversize tires (if you cant articulate the suspension, you will have problems offroad).

nippon > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 11/23/2013 at 19:40

0

I was referring to bro trucks, trucks like the one on the picture that never saw anything but tarmac and it's used in a same way a Civic would be used.
Not functional trucks people actually use for work or to get shit done.

Plus that was written after a bad day, so my apologies towards the ignorance.

MtrRider Just Wants Doritos > nippon 11/23/2013 at 19:49

2

And i think all trucks in every form should be burned.
There should be only one, Toyota Hilux, for hauling racecars and shit in your trailer

Yeah that's not what you said. Trucks are used and do have a purpose. There's no other vehicle that can take your family to dinner, haul drywall to work and tow a toyhauler (15,000 lbs to start and up from there) to the campground on the weekends. We have harms here that would be huge in Europe, owned by single familys. We tow boats to the lake. We do landscaping and home improvement ourselves. Americans like being self sufficient. And towing things like this.

And this

JalopJeep > Busslayer 11/23/2013 at 20:56

1

Ahem, they are GOD AWFUL OFF ROAD AND ON

SamfaKenessal > offroadkarter 11/23/2013 at 22:42

0

Pretty sure that's a Lambo, bro.

Biostar01 > davedave1111 11/24/2013 at 00:32

0

Read my Maruti Omni hoon here .

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

XJDano > Scurvy 11/24/2013 at 03:02

0

not on any XJ cherokee, or jeep past 80-something for that matter.

I now have adjustable upper and lower control arms, and have driven less than 500 miles in 5 years with new lift.

Fed(oo=[][]=oo)uken > CAR_IS_MI 11/24/2013 at 12:38

3

For stuff like this:

..Only love. More Good Ol' Boy truck, and less Bro truck.

Gaseous Clay > CAR_IS_MI 11/24/2013 at 20:07

0

I recently binned the only bits of chrome on my truck (The windscreen trim) when a bro said my chrome looked like shit. yes, it did, it's been through 30 years of neglect, but it's not necessary, so I ripped it off and threw it at him

now I just have some weather stripping and some vinyl sideboarding like 4crawler's website suggests, and I get even fewer leaks (2) than I did before (6)

doesthislookinfected > CAR_IS_MI 11/24/2013 at 21:35

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1984 C20 on engine #3 (bought it with a burned one, second damaged due to failed temp sender). Come at me bro.

Trin-Engr > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/25/2013 at 02:00

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Definitely no sadness there... drove mine on stock 16" wheels/tires, no extra lift in frigging Moab and Indiana Badlands, no prob. Got it completely covered in mud, twice, and left it like that for days after too :) BTW, I never got a compliment about it for years after having it, and the mud got me two the day after.

Not what you have, it's how you use it.... that sounds familiar somehow.

getchapopcorn > CAR_IS_MI 11/25/2013 at 09:39

0

This is why you just get a surplus '87 HMMWV.

getchapopcorn > CAR_IS_MI 11/25/2013 at 09:40

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sorry for double post.

SomethingBrewing > CAR_IS_MI 11/25/2013 at 20:28

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If the frame is clean (this is easy to spot, see above paragraph) its a bro truck.

Exception to this rule: if you drive out on the beach. Because if you don't clean those damn rails out METICULOUSLY, you will end up with rusted out rail fail.

tskphd > Burner 11/26/2013 at 00:13

0

Might be a mud truck...not a far distant cousin of the Bro truck...the only reason I would hesitate to call that a Bro truck is the Rockwell axles...that is some axle beef. The Mud trucks do "need" tons of lift to get the body out of the mud and reduce drag. I do not like mud...I hate mud...mud sucks. I run mostly trails and rocks in a moderately built expedition type vehicle (1994 ZJ 4" lift, HPD44/D60 35's ARB lockers, 9.5 cti). Having been in the off road world for a while, you can real rigs and the mall crawlers with two features, Axles and winch. Big tires on small axles....never been seriously off road. Second, any real off road vehicle has a winch. Everything else you put on a vehicle, lift, tires, axles, lockers, etc...just get you more stuck. The Winch is the only thing that can get you out. IMO, if you are getting into wheeling a winch is the FIRST thing your should put on your vehicle. Most BRO trucks or mall crawlers skip the winch and go for the lift and tires first. Then they start wheeling and they get stuck due to not having lockers. Then they get lockers and snap axle shafts. Then they get high strength axle shafts and still break axles, just usually ring and pinions now not the actual shafts. Then they upgrade the axles then get really stuck and have no winch...so the hammer on their rig and break drive shafts, transfer cases or transmissions.

woops79 > offroadkarter 03/28/2014 at 18:35

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Literally impossible for you to have put ruts in it... you didn't sit there spinning tires digging yourself down lol

bandi53 > CAR_IS_MI 06/25/2014 at 11:51

1

Bro trucks usually have a bunch of sod hanging from the underside, a result of tearing up a well manicured lawn at a house party.

CAR_IS_MI > bandi53 06/25/2014 at 11:58

1

Holy old post revival Batman.

Relyn Serano > CAR_IS_MI 10/15/2016 at 23:39

0

Can we keep this going, is the question.

A.Smith631 > CAR_IS_MI 02/18/2017 at 12:23

0

Don’t forget the blinding LED lighting bolted on the front back sides and top and bottom of the truck

C62030 > CAR_IS_MI 08/27/2017 at 10:36

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Hello from 2017, Robin.